Canto
XIX
Gangster
Gospel
Canto XIX
Petrus Romanus
The Brave Knight
In his hour of grief, the king summoned his knight.
How shall I serve thee, my lord? spaketh he.
The matter for which I have called you is dire;
My daughter, a dastardly wizard absconded
Wherefore I hath sent thee to win her release;
And if thou shalt save her, I offer ye this:
Her hand and mine kingdom to thee shalt be given
And thou shalt be called by my name, spake the king.
So off went the knight on a quest for his maiden
O'er hill and valley upon a white steed.
And there did he survey the wizard's dark castle
Which rose from the spines of a perilous cliff.
Found he the lass in a high tower sealed.
Render the damsel! he cried to the wizard.
Never I shall, the gaunt figure replied,
Lest thou mayest prove thyself worthy of honour;
To a man without fear shall I render the lass.
But the knight protested, I hath not a fear!
Prove it to me and the lady is thine!
Give me a test that my courage may prove!
Thus sprach the wizard, This shall ye do:
Conquer the dragon which lives in the dungeon.
Whose face is as wracked as the stench of his drool;
Who raises his neck on the strength of his haunches
Then may I know that thy fear hath ye conquered.
Therefore the knight with his sword and a torch
Walked into the darkness so dismal and bleak.
With each halting step, he had mustered his courage,
Ginning his temper to meet the fierce beast.
'Twas there sighted he the most wretched of visions,
From billowing nostrils went plumes of white smoke,
A terrible beast with its wings outstretched,
Revealing sharp shards of glistening scales
Whilst twisting its head of putrid green.
Now will I slay thee! howled the knight in his rage.
But the dragon entreated, Why doest so thus?
For to slay me in no wise shalt prove thyself fearless
As next to me stands yet another more fearsome.
Then him shall I slay! spaketh he with conviction.
But pleaded the dragon, Wherefore doest thou?
As there is not an end to the terrors of hell,
For hell is its terror: the dragon supplanting
That which ye hath conquered is ever more gruesome
'Til hell be confounded with dragons so fierce,
That nary a soul could ever requite it!
What then shall I do? spake the knight to the dragon.
To prove myself fearless and rescue my lass?
Then spake the wise dragon, A heart without fear
Beats not in the man who hast conquered all dragons,
But rather it beats in the sinner who dares
To serve every man as he would his own God
For a love that is perfect shall cast out all fear.
From thence, emerged the brave knight from his dungeon
And the wizard beseeched him, Hast thou foundest courage?
At last hath I learned, spake the knight with great joy,
That to conquer one's fears is an errand of folly.
But find ye the courage that walketh away,
Confessing thine fears to the Blessed Redeemer
Who findeth the grace that restoreth thy soul!
Thus was the lady restored to her land
And with the king's blessing she gavest her hand.
And thus was he granted his kingdom and throne
And every good blessing to calleth his own
In the name of the king who forever shall stand.
Sir Petralot
When you hear the horse's trot
Here comes brave Sir Petralot
Rescuing his distressed damsel
In a tower like Rapunzel
Maiden with the flaxen hair
From a dragon in a lair
But the peasants, they ignore me
And the poets, they abhor me
And the pirates, they don't know me
Maybe I'm the one and lonely
But I fight this fight for you
Cuz I know your heart is true
Like a hero who hath conquered
(Though I act just like a drunkard
Or a jester), But I'm not
I'm the brave Sir Petralot
Prayer Chains
An atheist prays for God to leave him alone;
In hell, God answers the prayer
and puts him on a planet where no one can hear or see him.
A gay man prays that he will wake up a woman;
and then puts him on a planet full of gay men.
A Zionist prays that he will wake up in the Holy Land;
and then buys him tickets
to the Holy Land Experience in Orlando, Florida.
A Mormon prays for multiple wives,
but he's not allowed to remove his secret underpants.
A president prays to defeat the terrorists;
In hell, God answers the prayer,
but not before he kills more people than bin Laden,
tortures more people than al-Qeada
and puts out more propaganda than Al Jazeera.
A Cuban prays for Castro's death;
but nobody knows he's been dead since '06.
An Adventist prays to keep the Sabbath;
but first he has to get circumcised.
An environmentalist prays to reverse global warming;
when hell freezes over.
A prophet prays to predict the future;
and he predicts his own death.
A psychic prays to talk to the dead;
but he can't sleep because they speak incessantly.
A Baptist prays for the cessation of gifts;
and he wonders whether or not he blasphemed the Spirit.
A humanist prays for a godless ethic;
but in a faithless world, nobody obeys it.
A warden prays that no prisoner will escape;
and he becomes their prisoner.
A Racist prays for a Whites-only heaven;
but he's not allowed to close his eyes or turn off the lights.
A Muslim prays to kill all Jews;
and he has to ask God for more Jews to kill.
A cult leader prays to be worshipped as Jesus;
and forsakes him as he dies for the sins of his followers.
A psychiatrist prays to cure mental illness;
but first, he has to convince his patients that they're crazy.
A high school nerd prays to become cool.
but he's too cool to notice.
A Buddhist prays to achieve Enlightenment;
but first, he must renounce Buddhism.
A politician prays to get elected;
but first, he must break all of his campaign promises.
A feminist prays to be liberated from men;
but she lives in continuous obsession
over whether or not men respect her.
A comedian prays to elicit laughter;
and he is given a sitcom with a laugh track.
An actress prays for a starring role;
but the road to stardom
takes a detour to the casting couch.
A singer prays for a Grammy;
but first, he has to break up with his band.
A general prays for obedient troops;
and he wages war with child soldiers.
A writer prays to write the great American novel;
but he must write it under a penname.
A sinner prays for salvation;
but he is persecuted by non-believers.
An astrophysicist prays to find God's fingerprints;
but no scientific journal will publish his findings.
A scientist prays to disprove miracles;
but first, he must toss out the anomalies.
A news anchor prays for a story;
but it is censored by corporate sponsors.
A runner prays for a gold medal;
but without a competitor, he loses the will to run.
The cable guy prays for a horny housewife;
but he calls to reschedule after she waited for him all day!
Work Daze
On the first day of the week
Everything was looking bleak
How I moaned, I cannot say
That is why it's called Moanday
Then, the next day, I went back
With my lunch packed in my sack
Cuz my dues, I've got to pay
That is why it's called Duesday
Now to work, I have returned
By my sweat, my life is earned
When will this all end? -- I pray
That is why it's called Whensday
Now my week is almost done
Look out weekend, here I come!
Thirsting to go out and play
That is why it's called Thirstday
Now it's payday! -- Off I dash
To exchange my check for cash
Burger King, I'll have it 'my way'
Thanking God because it's Fryday!
Mujer Mejor
Mujer mejor de Puerto Rico,
quiero oir -- '¡Ay Papito!'
La ella adora la flora ahora
y ponga la pinga enfrente de gente
(y cosas de otras, nosotras conozcas);
¿Qué debes hacer despues de salir?
¡Por qué tienes bodas si tu no me jodas tampoco!
Solomon's Goddess
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
who will commit to your trust the true riches?
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.
She considereth a field, and buyeth it.
For ye are bought with a price.
With the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
Her candle goeth not out by night.
Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed;
for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.
Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee.
Understanding the Trinity
Catholics have historically maintained that the Trinity were three distinct Persons contained within one indivisible Godhead. These consist of Father, Son and Holy Ghost and are of one substance and one being -- distinct, yet co-equal -- the Three in One. The language of Trinitarian dogma is lofty and abstruse, running the gamut from the poetic to the philosophical. But how are we to understand this complex doctrine?
Of course, it is not at all necessary to have a "perfect" understanding of Trinitarianism, nor is it necessary to have any understanding of it at all. There are many, such as Jehovah's Witnesses, Messianic Jews, and Unitarian Christians who do not receive this doctrine now and may not receive it in heaven either. Unitarianism is not heresy, just a different understanding.
The Nicene Fathers codified Trinitarian dogma in the Creed that was named for them. It is said and sung the world over and remains a centerpiece of the Catholic Liturgy. On the other hand, the Mormon doctrine concerning the Trinity is a true heresy. The LDS Church states that Father, Son and Holy Ghost are three separate gods, which is a violation of the first commandment. This misunderstanding of Catholic Tradition has provided much fodder for the Jewish and Islamic critics of Christianity who accuse us of polytheism, which of course, we are not.
The Trinity has an ethnic corollary constituent with the prophetic ordering of the races (Gen 9:25-27). The Father (Black) is Creator and Originator, the sudden and spontaneous genitive act, exercising manly authority over a feminine creation by the lofty prowess of his dark and mysterious will. The Son (Asian) is Mediator, Virgin-born -- the obedient receptacle of Jehovah's wrath, the congenial and pathetic servant who was pierced for our iniquities and wounded for our transgressions. The Holy Spirit (White) is Comforter, the Refining Fire, the Spirit of Truth and Wisdom. He convicts us of our sin and sanctifies us through knowledge of the Holy One of Israel, the fruits of the Spirit being outward and visible signs. Now let's explore each of these Persons more deeply...
God the Father is Jehovah, the Godless Universe. To say that He is "maker of heaven and earth, of all that is, seen and unseen" is a personification of Ultimate Reality. Jehovah can do both good and evil. He can repent or remain unrepentant. He can kill or make alive. He can be male or female. He can order your steps and "direct thy paths" (Prov 3:6). Jehovah is inclusive of Mary, Jesus, the Devil, Peter, you, me, everyone, everything. Jehovah begat Mary, Jesus and Satan and LORD Mary oftentimes speaks on Jehovah's behalf:
(Deut 32:39-42) See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand. 40For I lift up my hand to heaven, and say, I live for ever. 41If I whet my glittering sword, and mine hand take hold on judgment; I will render vengeance to mine enemies, and will reward them that hate me. 42I will make mine arrows drunk with blood, and my sword shall devour flesh; and that with the blood of the slain and of the captives, from the beginning of revengers upon the enemy.
(Isa 45:5-9) I am the Lord, and there is none else, there is no God beside me: I girded thee, though thou hast not known me: 6That they may know from the rising of the sun, and from the west, that there is none beside me. I am the Lord, and there is none else. 7I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things. 8Drop down, ye heavens, from above, and let the skies pour down righteousness: let the earth open, and let them bring forth salvation, and let righteousness spring up together; I the Lord have created it. 9Woe unto him that striveth with his Maker!
God the Son is Jesus. Jesus is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent God. He witnesses us perpetually, first as a suffering savior in Christ Crucified and then as a conquering king in Christ Resurrected. Because it is impossible to die and live again, Christ's soul and body are resurrected in the Immaculate Heart of Mary Co-Redemptrix. Because he was crucified on the cross of shame, he has judged the world in his flesh and concluded it in righteousness based on repentance. He will therefore judge the quick and the dead on the last day in accordance with his gospel:(Isa 53:2-12) For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. 3He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. 4Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 5But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. 6All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. 7He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. 8He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken. 9And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth. 10Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. 11He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities. 12Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.
God the Son is Jesus. Jesus is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent God. He witnesses us perpetually, first as a suffering savior in Christ Crucified and then as a conquering king in Christ Resurrected. Because it is impossible to die and live again, Christ's soul and body are resurrected in the Immaculate Heart of Mary Co-Redemptrix. Because he was crucified on the cross of shame, he has judged the world in his flesh and concluded it in righteousness based on repentance. He will therefore judge the quick and the dead on the last day in accordance with his gospel:
(Isa 53:2-12) For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. 3He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. 4Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 5But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. 6All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. 7He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. 8He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken. 9And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth. 10Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. 11He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities. 12Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.
The Holy Spirit is the realization of answered prayer, which completes the Circuit of Faith. The Circuit of Faith is this: first, a prayer is made unto salvation; then, the prayer ascends up to the throne of God where it is received by Jesus; then, the Angel descends Jacob's ladder in order to answer the prayer; finally, the supplicant is made aware of the answered prayer. This completes the Circuit of Faith. As the Circuit is completed, we find our whole selves being completed also -- like the Messianic Jews who discover the fulfillment of Old Testament prophecies in the ministry of Yeshua:
(Eph 1:13-23) In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, 14Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory. 15Wherefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus, and love unto all the saints, 16Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers; 17That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: 18The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, 19And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power, 20Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places, 21Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come: 22And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church, 23Which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all.
Love Can
Love can cause the blind to see;
Love can cause the rose to bloom;
Love can cause the world to be;
Love can leave an empty tomb.
Love can make the desert spring;
Love can make the world go 'round;
Love can make a child's heart sing;
Love can walk on holy ground.
Love can hope for brighter days;
Love can hope for liberty;
Love can hope for joy always;
Love can pray for you and me.
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LORD JESUS CHRIST,SON OF THE FATHER,SEND NOW YOUR SPIRIT OVER THE EARTH.LET THE HOLY SPIRIT LIVEIN THE HEARTS OF ALL NATIONS,THAT THEY MAY BE PRESERVEDFROM DEGENERATION, DISASTER AND WAR.MAY THE LADY OF ALL NATIONS,WHO ONCE WAS MARY,BE OUR ADVOCATE.AMEN.
LORD JESUS CHRIST,
SON OF THE FATHER,
SEND NOW YOUR SPIRIT OVER THE EARTH.
LET THE HOLY SPIRIT LIVE
IN THE HEARTS OF ALL NATIONS,
THAT THEY MAY BE PRESERVED
FROM DEGENERATION, DISASTER AND WAR.
MAY THE LADY OF ALL NATIONS,
WHO ONCE WAS MARY,
BE OUR ADVOCATE.
AMEN.
