Canto
XXI
Gangster
Gospel
Canto XXI
Petrus Romanus
Protestink!
(Jer 10:14) Every man is brutish in his knowledge: every founder is confounded by the graven image: for his molten image is falsehood, and there is no breath in them.
Every Protestink is 'brutish in his knowledge' because they perpetuate the laughable (if it weren't so funny!) myth of male deity to the willful ignorance of the BVM.
They swagger in their reproach of Catholic Dogma and pitch their religion with mindlessly poetic slogans such as sola fide and sola scriptura in order to pick off weaker Catholics by the strength of their self-willed conviction and the directness of their maniacally streamlined tenets. They are all icing and no cake, but the soufflé collapses when the religulous types start asking all the right questions and all you got is 'just trust' and a holy spirit only you can see.
Sola scriptura is intellectually bereft and sola fide is the moral equivalent of 'I already gave.' Did the Bible write itself? Did the Bible thump itself? Did the Bible create the Universe and then die for it? If anyone says sola scriptura, they blaspheme the Holy Spirit. We could stop here, but let's continue...
Protestantism has many founders and 'every founder is confounded by the graven image' of Mary whom they consider to be a neo-pagan corruption of the 'true faith' as revealed in the Bible Luther redacted -- 'for his molten image is [the accusation of] falsehood' levied against the Catholic Faith for every conceivable doctrine. They proclaim themselves pious but are full of doubtful disputations. They refer to their disobedience and schism as the "Reformation" which then led to the "Counter-Reformation" in the Catholic Church, but this is entirely untrue. Erasmus was every bit the reformer as Luther and the Catholic Church was already in the midst of reforming itself before Luther nailed his feces to the door of Wittenburg's church, branding Pope Leo X as the Antichrist and commissioning the most vile cartoons of the Holy Father (one of which depicts the pontiff sucking Medusa's breasts!)
There's a reason why you've never read Luther's feces -- its level of nonsensicalness can only be adequately described as 'Lilliputian' (and what's worse -- it's a snore-fest!) If only Luther would have opened his beloved scriptura, he would have certainly learned that the "antichrist" is "every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh" (1 John 4:3). Now the Protestants proudly proclaim that the flesh of Jesus Christ is not present in the Eucharistic Elements. So who is the Antichrist? -- 'there is no breath [of the Holy Spirit] in them.'
(1 Cor 11:29) For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body.
A Letter from St. Jerome to Pope Saint Damasus I
My words are spoken to the successor of the fisherman, to the disciple of the cross. As I follow no leader save Christ, so I communicate with none but your blessedness, that is with the chair of Peter. For this, I know, is the rock on which the church is built! This is the house where alone the paschal lamb can be rightly eaten. This is the ark of Noah, and he who is not found in it shall perish when the flood prevails.
Jesus Didn't Die For My Sins!!
Since I'm alone
Since nobody knows
Since nobody's stopping me
Since everyone else is doing it
Since I can
Since it's legal
Since they're never gonna see me again anyway
Since no one can hear me
Since no one can understand me
Since it doesn't matter anyway
Since we've always done it
Since we've never done it
Since I'm gonna die anyway
No, Jesus didn't die for my sins
He died for my 'since'...
Bad Religion
The Church approves a Marian apparition
only after they fail to suppress it
and not until they edit her message.
The truth shall set you free,
but it won't let you go.
If you're not prepared to open your mind,
don't bother opening your Bible.
A Baptist belittles the Nicene Creed
before basing his own theology on a senseless slogan.
Baptists accuse Catholics of being the antichrist
before denying the presence of Christ in the Eucharist.
Baptists say that Catholic Bibles have extra books
before trying to sell you their own annotated study Bible.
A Baptist derides the gift of tongues
before delivering a sermon that makes less sense.
A Baptist can give you hell's floor plan
but cannot show you the exit door.
The word 'Eucharist' sounds too much like 'Christ',
which is why Baptists call it the 'Lord's Supper'.
Anyone who says the Bible is a closed canon
probably has a closed Bible.
If women can't be priests,
then their children shouldn't be either!
If you take the Bible literally,
then you cannot take it seriously.
If Mary is Coredemptrix for giving birth to Jesus,
then every priest's mother is a co-priest!
Faith is the difference
between bravery from bravado;
between safety and salvation;
between affection and lust;
between desire and wantonness;
between obsession and meditation;
between healing and coping;
between moderation and deprivation;
between forgiveness and tolerance.
The Shakespeare Code
Why is the letter r the most important letter of the alphabet?
Because without it, mercy would be messy; and with it, Mary may marry.
Before I converted, lots of crazy Christians would invite me to their churches and tell me to read the Bible, but my 'Nevada Smith' attitude was, I don't bother Him, He don't bother me. Then I went to grad school in California -- UCLA -- met a Korean girl who asked me to go to church with her. Most Koreans south of the DMZ are Presbyterians now thanks in part to American military and missionary involvement there. But would Jesus have been able to save their souls had the 'Chosun few' failed to save Seoul?
I told her I didn't have time to go to church. She told me that my time didn't belong to me. Within one year, not only was I going to three different churches a week, I was giving people rides! -- it's amazing how your schedule clears when you know you're going to live forever!
Some fundies believe that the King James is the only legitimate translation. I couldn't disagree more.
Still others believe that the King James Version is an inspired translation, much like the first century Jews did with regard to their Septuagint (before they adjusted the definitions of their own language in a flimsy attempt to mollify OT prophecies concerning the Messiah). 'Thou shalt not kill' doesn't mean 'Thou shalt not murder'; 'A virgin shall conceive' doesn't mean 'A young woman shall conceive' -- the Septuagint (so-named for the 70 translators who, while working independently of each other, miraculously arrived at the same translation) is the oldest extant translation of the OT, still in use by the Greek Orthodox Religion as they received it from the original Apostles who quoted it extensively in the NT.
Of course, it is of no cosmological import whether or not the historic Virgin Mary was a virgin or not as her narrative is symbolic of the Goddess Shekhinah. Jesus would have been LORD and Savior either way. But the spirit who communicates with me says that she was in fact a virgin who conceived by the Holy Spirit. If the spirit is correct (and there's no way for me to tell) then where did the sperm come from? God can only create the world once and if the Holy Spirit created the sperm that impregnated Mary, it would require a secondary act of creation which Shekhinah cannot do on the Cosmic Sabbath (not to mention the Nicene stipulation that our LORD was begotten, not made). Hence, Shekhinah must have used DNA already extant in the universe -- but from where (or rather, from whom?) She could've taken it from Abraham, David, any of the patriarchs, a primordial human, perhaps even one of us! But the spirit says she took it from Joseph. Thus, according to the spirit, Mary was inseminated with Joseph's DNA without any orgasm on either parent's part; and just as Jesus was able to walk through a locked door after the Resurrection (John 20:19), the Christ-child was removed by the power of the Holy Ghost from Mary's womb without any rupture of the holy hymen.
Both Catholics and Protestants are in agreement that the Virgin birth is a matter of history. Although I see no cosmic necessity for it, I see no reason why it couldn't happen. As to the Perpetual Virginity of the historic Mary, let's keep in mind that LORD Mary is Ever Virgin either way. She is pure and chaste -- not in the flesh, but in the spirit! The Gospel doesn't say anything about perpetual virginity and as any Protestink will tell you, our Lord had brothers and sisters (Mark 6:3), and yes, I'm aware of the Catholic rebuttal (Jam 1:2). However, it is idolatry to regard a flesh-and-blood human being as the Queen of Heaven and I condemn any Cat-oholic 'veneration' of the human Mary who was nothing more than a vessel. Either Mary is Shekhinah or she is corporeal -- she can't be both!
If you just gave birth to the Messiah, would you want another child after that? If you were married to the Mother of God, would you have sex with her? Both Mary and Joseph were visited by the angel and both understood their ministry -- and yet didn't the angel say to Joseph, "fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife" (Matt 1:20) and we know what the word 'unto' means! (Gen 19:5; 38:2; Hos 1:2). Who knows? -- maybe Mary's wearing Victoria's Secret panties with a stitch monogram that says: Do not open 'til Xmas!:
Hail, virgin, if you be, as those cheek-roses
Proclaim you are no less!
(Shakespeare: Measure for Measure I.IV.17-18)
Now there's no question in my mind that the KJV is every bit as inspired as the Septuagint. But then again, I believe the complete works of Shakespeare are as well! The British Isles have proved to literature what Vienna has aspired to in music, but seldom hath any crawled out from beneath the long, looming shadow of the Great Bard (present company excluded!):
I am no viper, yet I feed
On mother's flesh which did me breed.
I sought a husband, in which labour
I found that kindness in a father:
He's father, son, and husband mild;
I mother, wife, and yet his child.
How they may be, and yet in two,
As you will live, resolve it you.
(Shakespeare: Pericles, Prince of Tyre I.I.64-70)
That Shakespeare aided in the stylistic syncretization of the KJV is a matter of no small controversy to be sure; and yet it seems entirely unconscionable to me that the Blessed Virgin wouldn't employ so great a literary talent in what has become so monumental a work -- and then there is Psalm 46.
In his 1990 biography You've Had Your Time, Anthony Burgess (best-known for his modernist satire A Clockwork Orange), revealed the famous Shakespearean signature embedded in the 46th Psalm. Of course, if this code were deliberately implanted into the text, it would would have to be one of the bestkept secrets in all of human history!
The code is revealed when, discounting the word Selah (a liturgico-musical punctuation mark), if you count 46 words from the beginning of the 46th Psalm, you will find the word shake whereas the 46th word from the end of the psalm is spear. Add to that the fact that Shakespeare himself was 46 years old at the time that the King James was being revised, having likely been born on St. George's Day 1564.
Of course, Shakespeare was favored by the Jamesian court who had previously appointed his company as the 'king's players' and it would have been inconceivable had the translation committee not consulted him with regard to the overall tenor and style of a text whose explicit design was to supplant all previous translations and fortify Anglican culture against Rome. To this day, the British Monarch is Head of the Parliament, the Navy, the Commonwealth, and the Anglican Church; the United Kingdom is just that -- a kingdom. The Royal Family cannot be prosecuted for any crime; nor has there ever been a non-Anglican Prime Minister. Everywhere else in the free world, the KJV is public domain but in 'jolly-ole' England, it is under perpetual crown copyright; and as I pen these phrases from St. James Parish (Montego Bay), Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II is my Sovereign. WHY??
TO THE MOST HIGH AND MIGHTY PRINCE JAMES, BY THE GRACE OF GOD, KING OF GREAT BRITAIN, FRANCE, AND IRELAND, DEFENDER OF THE FAITH, ETC.
THE TRANSLATORS OF THE BIBLE WISH GRACE, MERCY, AND PEACE, THROUGH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD.
GREAT and manifold were the blessings, most dread Sovereign, which Almighty God, the Father of all mercies, bestowed upon us the people of England, when first he sent Your Majesty's Royal Person to rule and reign over us. For whereas it was the expectation of many, who wished not well unto our Sion, that upon the setting of that bright Occidental Star, Queen Elizabeth of most happy memory, some thick and palpable clouds of darkness would so have overshadowed this Land, that men should have been in doubt which way they were to walk; and that it should hardly be known, who was to direct the unsettled State; the appearance of your Majesty, as the Sun in his strength, instantly dispelled those supposed and surmised mists, and gave unto all that were well affected exceeding cause of comfort; especially when we beheld the Government established in Your Highness, and Your hopeful Seed, by an undoubted Title; and this also accompanied with peace and tranquillity at home and abroad.
In other words, We're the ones we've been waiting for!
The other Shakespearian signature occurs in the waning verses of the Book of Job:
(Job 41:29) Darts are counted as stubble: he laugheth at the shaking of a spear.
So is God laughing at the Great Bard? -- or would that be a comedy of errors? The King James Version used as its source texts the Masoretic text and the Textus Recepticus; and the Septuagint; and were cognizant of other English-language translations that were en vogue at the time. Political considerations also played a role in the language of the Authorized Version as the word 'king' appears 2540 times while the politically-charged word 'tyrant' is never evoked. However, if you examine the shaking spear as it appears in the Latin Vulgate, you'll find the words vibrantem hastam (vibrant staff):
19 non fugabit eum vir sagittarius in stipulam versi sunt ei lapides fundae 20 quasi stipulam aestimabit malleum et deridebit vibrantem hastam
(Vulgate, Job 41:19-20)
But did St. Jerome prophetically anoint the vibrant staff who, more than a millennium later, would afford the Anglican translation its stylistic patina? Let's take another look at the vibrant staff passage, but this time, let's treat the preceding 10 words as an acronym removing every 5th letter (q; d) as if they were the spaces between words:
Sunt Ei Lapides Fundae quasi Stipulam Aestimabit Malleum Et deridebit VIBRANTEM HASTAM
Perhaps this is much ado about nothing, but before we declare love's labour lost, let us first recall Isabella's tempestuous soliloquy which concludes Act II of the religious farce Measure for Measure:
To whom should I complain? Did I tell this,
Who would believe me? O perilous mouths,
That bear in them one and the self-same tongue,
(Shakespeare: Measure for Measure: II.IV.183-185)
Exeunt!
The Contestant
(Contest rules: 10-20 lines -- no repeated words)
Obsessed with winning
I write these tortured metaphors
Blinded by success
(Or was it the fear of failure?)
Either way, I'm driven
Pushing forward toward my award
Without any repeated words
(As if they were paid for)
Ahhh... one more line to go
Before it's all over...
Blake's Take
Excerpt from William Blake's 'A Vision of the Last Judgment'
Error is Created.
Truth is Eternal.
Error, or Creation, will be Burned up,
& then, & not till Then, Truth or Eternity will appear.
It is Burnt up the Moment Men cease to behold it.
I assert for My Self that I do not behold the outward Creation
& that to me it is hindrance & not Action;
it is as the Dirt upon my feet, No part of Me.
"What," it will be Question'd, "When the Sun rises,
do you not see a round disk of fire somewhat like a Guinea?"
Oh no, no, I see an Innumerable company of the Heavenly host crying,
'Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty.'
I question not my Corporeal or Vegetative Eye
any more than I would Question a Window concerning Sight.
I look thro' it & not with it.
Navigation
LORD JESUS CHRIST,SON OF THE FATHER,SEND NOW YOUR SPIRIT OVER THE EARTH.LET THE HOLY SPIRIT LIVEIN THE HEARTS OF ALL NATIONS,THAT THEY MAY BE PRESERVEDFROM DEGENERATION, DISASTER AND WAR.MAY THE LADY OF ALL NATIONS,WHO ONCE WAS MARY,BE OUR ADVOCATE.AMEN.
LORD JESUS CHRIST,
SON OF THE FATHER,
SEND NOW YOUR SPIRIT OVER THE EARTH.
LET THE HOLY SPIRIT LIVE
IN THE HEARTS OF ALL NATIONS,
THAT THEY MAY BE PRESERVED
FROM DEGENERATION, DISASTER AND WAR.
MAY THE LADY OF ALL NATIONS,
WHO ONCE WAS MARY,
BE OUR ADVOCATE.
AMEN.
