Canto
XXV
Gangster
Gospel
Canto XXV
Petrus Romanus
Greta und die Gestapo
Knock knock knock... (Die doore opendt.)
"Gütentag!" greeted Greta. "Wat Kann I du für yeu?"
"I haffe orders teu sürche dies rezidence unter suspicione das yeu ar hidingsie Jüden," sagt die Nazi.
"Jüden?" criedt Greta. "Nein! Er ist nöe Jüden hier."
"Maye I sürche, den?"
"Of cours nicht!" Greta answert. "Est ist die middel auf der nächt! Kömme bach ohn Sönntag, bye-bye!"
"Nein!" der Nazi insistet. "I müss conducten die sürche at wonce!"
"Or else wat?!"
"Or else.." (der Nazi pausen... Er dits nicht wänten zu fillen out zie paperwürke für deiser one!...) "Okay -- okay! Den jusst tellen me, ist der eine Jüden heire?"
"Yess!"
"Güt!" answert die Nazi. "Bringen ihm oute, bitte."
"Fein, I will!" Greta relentidt, "Bütte fürst, tellen me wei yeu wänte ihm."
"Becauss he ist ein Jüde!"
"Und wat ist wröngen wiht das?" shie answeren.
"Die Jewische blüt ist korrupt und müssen be pürgt frem auf die Sudetanland!" sagt der Nazi.
"Wei du yeu thinken dat?" askt Greta perplext.
"Wei? Wei?? Jusst looke as die advancments auf Aryan ärs und cultur! Das genius auf dein Östrianische müsiker und technologie, der stamina auf ouhr würkers! Grü Gött! Weir die mosst evölvedt auf älle der races und häffen un näturel reicht zu destroyen sie impür races!
"Aber wass abouet der Bibel?" pleadedt Greta. "Weir älle frem Adem, ain't we? Und häffen weir älle bin mäde ouf die saem blüd?"
Aber die Nazi grolich sprächen, "Perhapts! Aber weil ins das Neü Testamenten, die Jüden wert replacent bei den Romänische Christerens! Dierfore, das gentilles aer die neue superiuer race!"
(Greta lookt ahn der Nazi wiht despaire. Shie hadt geställedt ihm as müche ahs shie couldt!) "Alreit! Alreit! I wille göe und bringen auf die Jüden. Waite hier..." Der doore clöest und die Nazi waitet outeside.
Den, sie doore suddennly opent...
"Well? Wehr ist hie?" askt der Nazi.
"Kömming," shie answërt sweetlich. "Bütte fürst, tellen mie... Ar nott yeu ein grandsönne auf einen Jüdenin?"
"Ja, I am," sprächen der Nazi. "Bütte I wass raisedt ahs einen Christeren."
"I see..." Greta wondert. "Und ihre parenst neiber toldt yeu das Jesu Christe war ein Jüden?"
Der Nazi pausedt. "Well... I neiber unterstüdt thiere faithe... I wantet zu believen en Christe, bütte... I neiber couldt! I neiber saw waht thaey saw! Die mësage war losst on me! I kouldt nicht finden Götte nowehre!"
"Den wei känt yeu see Hem nowe?!" Greta pleadedt.
Bütte der Nazi becämme outragedt, "Est wast meinen blüd! Meinen korrupt Jewische blüdt das wouldt nicht permitt mie!! Nowe bringensie auf die Juden!! Schnell, bitte!!"
Greta walkdt outeside und shütten sie doore behindt ehr. "Hier am I!" shie gesagt.
"Yeu?!" shoutted der Nazi. "Yeu art nicht einen Jüden?!"
"Ja, Ich bin nicht," Greta whisperin. "Bütte meine Saviuer ist, und ihs blüd eis withinen mie."
Rough Love
You call yourself Isis?
Cuz yu' ice is mine, sis?
Now get down
On the ground
And crawl around on all fours like a hound
It's the leash you can do...
Till I come after you
Releasing my male glue
Without a clue
As to why I need to
Stick it in you
Mi lubya fi true!
Cuz you belong to me
There's no escaping, you see?
I've got you tied to my Man-groove tree
In the midst of the Garden of WE
Fucking like Adam
On the Eve of Destruction
Yu' thick black lips of seduction
Provoking my male eruption
With a furious ssssuction
As I reach down, both hands clamping yu' head
jerking myself on yu' cum-stained face
Punishing your sexual averace
As I get my bliss with my sis Isis
As my semen set sail through the straits of yer hips
Eclipsed by the nips of those elliptical ships
Ridin' dat shyt like Erik Estrada on CHiPs!
Some might call'em pigtails, but I call'em grips...
If I had you alone for 24 hours, and you would do anything I told you, I'd rent a penthouse suite at the Ritz, and install hidden cameras in every room. Then I'd hire a prostitute who would wait for you in the penthouse, and I'd pay her to make love to you. But this is where it gets interesting...
Unbeknownst to her, I'll give you a hidden earpiece where I can instruct you on how to make love to her. And unbeknownst to you, I'll give her a hidden earpiece telling her what I want her to do to you. And I told her about the hidden cameras also, but told her not to tell you cuz you didn't know. And I told you not to tell her, cuz she didn't know.
But before I leave you alone, I tell the both of you that I may or may not walk in at any moment, and make love to you both. But if I do... unbeknownst to either of you, I'll be wearing yet another hidden earpiece, whereby I can take instructions from yet another prostitute... But that's if I had you alone for 24 hours, and you would do anything I told you.
True Reflections
Sounds
Motions
Rays of Light
All together
Are the means by which true romance takes flight
The fruits of our love perceived from above
Are all we have
To go by
In this
Fight
You
And I
Together
In Creation
Not because we're good, but because we're right
Litter Alley
Dad!, my son complained. I've been staring at the mountain all day like Jesus said and it hasn't moved!
All things are possible, I answered. But before you go moving mountains, try removing the mote from your eye.
It is impossible to interpret the Bible literally. Neither can there be any communication without interpretation. If I say "cat," it doesn't literally mean "four-legged house pet." It could also mean a tiger or lion; a slang term for "category" (as in "Cat 5 Hurricane"); a nickname for Cathy; then there's the folksinger and Muslim convert Cat Stevens; I sometimes refer to people as cats in the pejorative (but that's somewhat nostalgic on my part). If I instead use the term "Felis domesticus," it still would not literally mean "finicky fur ball." The word "cat" is a raw sound. It is a literal collection of phonemes bereft of any intrinsic meaning or significance. Hence, our understanding of "cat" is derived not from the phonemes, but rather from the spirit, which is to say, we ourselves attribute meaning and signification to them. We interpret the Bible by the spirit and not by the Bible itself. If anyone tells you that the Bible is literally true, it is because they are under the spell of an anti-Catholic church. These cats are liars and I mean that literally.
If "cat" literally meant "flea-bitten feline," then "gato," "katze," and "chat" would signify something else, which these foreign words for "cat" do not. Do the French perceive a different animal than we do? Does the rose by any other name smell any less sweet? When in France, c'est la vie; when in Jamaica, suh it go!
And yet, translation would not exist in a world where words literally meant what they apparently do and since each individual has their own unique perspective, there can never be a uniformly apparent interpretation of Holy Writ. To argue the merits of one's doctrine based on a literal interpretation of the Bible is therefore entirely specious -- or is the NIV a greater translation than the epistle written in your hearts?:
Di man se, "Lov di Laad Yu Gad wid aal yu aat, yu suol, schrent an main, an lov yu nieba laik ou yu lov yuself." Jiizas se tu im, "Yu ansa rait. Du dat an yu wi liv."
(Jamaican Patois Translation: Luke 10:27-28)
To the extent that we all differ from each other, we are incapable of achieving a uniformity of interpretation. It is a fool's errand. But just as an individual draws upon his or her experience in order to enhance his or her perspective, a church will draw upon its own tradition and history in order to enhance its doctrine.
Of course, the Roman Catholic Church would have the most extensive tradition, which would afford it the most pristine view of Scripture's apparent meaning; And it is a miracle that such a large and long-lasting denomination would not fall into the same theological pitfalls that have plagued the mainline Protestant churches, paving the way for an insurgency of non-denominational mega-churches. Nevertheless, the RC Church is the original non-denominational mega-church and our doctrine is informed by the Holy Tradition (inclusive of Holy Writ) and articulated by the ex cathedra statements of our Holy Father (or perhaps in due time, the Holy Mother).
Now we have seen how words spoken in any given tongue-language can never be literally interpreted, but what about the raw Hebrew, which is to say, the language of subliminal thought? If the Word of God is God as John posits (John 1:1), then would not the Name of the LORD (the Tetragrammaton) literally mean the LORD? Not so fast! Even the Divine Name YHWH must be interpreted by the spirit. Else there would be no cause for the 3rd Commandment, which admonishes us from using the LORD's name vainly. If the Tetragrammaton literally meant itself, then it would be impossible to mishandle the Word of Life, which it is not:
(Matt 7:21) Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Not only does the Tetragrammaton not mean itself, it is not at all itself sans interpretation. Existence (upon which the Word of God rests) is itself predicated by choice, which carries with it the intrinsic possibility of sinning against the Word of God, which can only be accomplished through the vain utterance of the LORD's Name. Nevertheless, it is the righteous utterance of the same that accomplishes not only our salvation, but ultimate redemption and the very conferral of the Holy Spirit itself. No one can have the Holy Ghost without confession and none can confess except it be by the Spirit.
Now, the Spirit is one with me (and also with you). Whatever we speak, he speaks; Whatever we do, he does; Whatever we know, he knows. If you don't know your Savior on the day of reckoning, then your god (who is as knowledgeable as you are) won't know that you're saved, at which point Jehovah Farmgirl will chuck the chaff into the fire and holler yee-haw. Likewise, the Spirit is an obedient servant so that if I love the Spirit, He will recompense that love in the day of redemption; but if I sin against the Spirit, He will recompense that sin on the day of wrath. In the latter case, because temporality is an illusion created by motion, and because God is immutable, I stand eternally guilty before the Spirit of God (even if I only committed one sin back in the late '70s). What am I going to do? I can't live down eternity and I can't wait 'til the heat's off -- it's an eternal flame! In a situation like that, you've got to plead guilty and throw yourself at the mercy of the court! And what does my Judge do, then? He renders his verdict (without any cosmic precedent) that deems my repentance to be worthy of redemption. Now I'm a free man -- free from sin; free from recompense; free from death! I want to shake my judge's hand, but when I do, to my horror, I see that it's pierced! Could it be that my Victim is also my Judge? Talk about a conflict of interest!
Now, if you haven't called upon the pure, holy, beautiful, glorious and righteous Name of the LORD Jesus Christ, then by all means what are you waiting for? A written invitation from God? We already have it! It's so easy to convert and yet so easy to put it off (which is what makes it so very hard, I suppose).
And what's the difference between fiction and non-fiction anyway?:
If I say that psychiatrists tell us we are not in control of ourselves, is that any different than if I say that Pinocchio has strings?
If I say that people alter their biochemistry through sinful thoughts, is that any different than if I say Pinocchio's nose grows whenever he lies?
If I say that people (who were supposedly gay before puberty) irreversibly impacted their adult physiology, is that any different than boys smoking and playing hooky before finding themselves irreversibly transformed into asses?
If I say Geppetto's son, why not the son of Jupiter?
Perhaps the difference between fiction and non-fiction has less to do with what's being said than how it's being said. But regardless: to the extent that language conveys reality, it deviates from it.
The theological term for someone who takes the Bible literally is a biblical literalist -- and you may actually be one without even knowing it! So in order to determine whether you take the Bible literally (and so as not to upstage a certain 'worthy' redneck!), I've come up with a simple way to find out:
You may be a bible literalist if...
You preach the gospel to your dog because Jesus said to preach the gospel to every creature (Mark 16:15)!
You drink poison and handle snakes because Jesus says it's a sign of the Spirit (Mark 16:18)!
You're torn between whether or not Satan put the dinosaur bones in the ground or there were brontosauruses on Noah's Jurassic Ark?
We could stop here but let's continue...
You believe Enos was the offspring of Seth and his mother Eve as there was no other woman in the garden besides Eve (Gen 4:25-26)!
You believe God and Satan placed bets on whether or not Job would break (Job 1:8-13)!
You believe Jesus is a black man with woolly hair and a bronze complexion!:
(Rev 1:13-15) And in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle. 14His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire; 15And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters.
So if you don't want to repent to 'Dreadlock Jesus', stop taking the Bible literally, please!:
Jiizas ansa im se, "Wan man a go dong fram Jeruusilem tu Jeriko an som tiif grab im. Dem tek we im kluoz, biit im an go we lef im haaf ded. Wan priis a go dong di siem ruod, si di man, an paas pan di ada said.
(JPV: Di Stuori Bout di Gud Samaritan)
But let's say we suspend disbelief (or perhaps sustain it?) and try to take the Bible literally anyway:
(Num 23:19) God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent:
So God is 'not a man' or 'the son of man'? Well of course, she's not!! But let's say that God is speaking corporately on behalf of her son: does this imply that God never became flesh as the JWs maintain?; or is Jesus 'not a man' in the sense 'that he should lie' or 'should repent'? But then again, maybe the entire passage (Num 23:19-24) was meant to be read as a 'parable' (and not literally as the previous verse seems to imply):
(Num 23:18) And he took up his parable, and said, Rise up, Balak, and hear; hearken unto me, thou son of Zippor:
But this is what happens when we base our faith on scripture rather than Tradition. When Luther weaponized the Bible with the words 'sola scriptura', each man became his own denomination as churches fragmented over matters of interpretation, paving the way for moral relativism. But if you want to redefine 'church', don't be surprised when your grandkids redefine 'marriage'!:
No one indeed can deny that marriage is an external worldly thing, like clothes and food, house and home, subject to worldly authority, as shown by so many imperial laws governing it.
(Martin Luther, Von den Ehesachen)
Not only is the sacramental character of matrimony without foundation in Scripture; but the very traditions, which claim such sacredness for it, are a mere jest.
Marriage may therefore be a figure of Christ and the Church; it is, however, no Divinely instituted sacrament, but the invention of men in the Church, arising from ignorance of the subject.
(Martin Luther, De captivitate Babylonica)
Lastly, there is matrimony, which all admit was instituted by God, though no one before the time of Gregory regarded it as a sacrament. What man in his sober senses could so regard it? God's ordinance is good and holy; so also are agriculture, architecture, shoemaking, hair-cutting legitimate ordinances of God, but they are not sacraments.
(Calvin, Institutions: IV.xix.34)
That's one helluva haircut!!
We don't need any more liberal Protestink private interpretations! We don't need no more sola scriptura; what we need right now is sola spiritu!:
(2 Cor 3:6) Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.
But let's try once again, like a dog turned back on his vomit (2 Pet 2:22), to take the Bible at its 'literal' meaning:
(Ezek 20:49) Then said I, Ah Lord God! they say of me, Doth he not speak parables?
According to the Jews, Jesus is not the Messiah because he never fulfilled the 'literal interpretation' of messianic prophecy. (It's actually one of the few things they take literally!) According to them, the Messiah must: repatriate all Israelites to the 'homeland' (Is 11:12); usher in an era of world peace (Ezek 39:9); reinstitute the Sanhedrin (Is 1:26); resurrect the dead (Is 26:19); rebuild the Temple at Jerusalem and resume the sacrifice (Ezek 40):
(Prov 26:7) The legs of the lame are not equal: so is a parable in the mouth of fools.
So now, instead of preaching the gospel, we find ourselves mired in dueling interpretations (and I thought dueling banjos was corny!) But since we're on the subject of country bumpkins, why don't we c'mon in and set a spell as the 'Great American Bible Literalist Pissing Competition' commences:
Southern Baptist: Our church doesn't baptize infants!
Pentecostal: Alright, I'll see your adult baptism and raise you a 'young earth'!
Southern Baptist: Alright, I'll see your 'young earth' and raise you a 'deluge'!
Pentecostal: Alright, I'll see your 'deluge' and raise you a 'sabbath'!
Southern Baptist: Alright, I'll see your 'sabbath' and raise you a 'fast'!
Pentecostal: Well our church speaks in tongues!
Southern Baptist: Well our church doesn't ordain women!
Pentecostal: Well we believe Christ is coming back in our lifetime!
Southern Baptist: We don't believe in interracial marriage!
Catholic: Hi fellas -- couldn't help overhearing! Our Church doesn't read the Bible much. Nope, that's the job of the clergy. And besides, we're too busy building hospitals and orphanages, and giving to charity!
Pentecostal: You don't have the Spirit!
Southern Baptist: You're not saved!
(Jam 1:27) Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.
Jamaican 'Duppy' Story
(Note to reader: In Jamaica, a 'duppy' is a ghost.)
Dis fi waa yuh muss do if di duppy, 'im a'folla yuh so...
First, don' panic, juss keep on a'walkin like yuh nah see'im...
Den tekk out uno match frem yuh pocket, light it, hol' it up inna di eer an' trow it behind yuh leff-hand shouldah...
Continue walkin'...
Nex, tekk out anudda match, light it, hol' it up inna di eer an' trow it behind yuh leff-hand shouldah juss like before...
Now...
Tekk out una cherd match... light it... hol' it up inna di eer, but dis time!... Blow it out an' put it back in yuh pocket -- di duppy'll stop followin' yuh cau' him fi look fi di match!!!
Walk Good!
Navigation
LORD JESUS CHRIST,SON OF THE FATHER,SEND NOW YOUR SPIRIT OVER THE EARTH.LET THE HOLY SPIRIT LIVEIN THE HEARTS OF ALL NATIONS,THAT THEY MAY BE PRESERVEDFROM DEGENERATION, DISASTER AND WAR.MAY THE LADY OF ALL NATIONS,WHO ONCE WAS MARY,BE OUR ADVOCATE.AMEN.
LORD JESUS CHRIST,
SON OF THE FATHER,
SEND NOW YOUR SPIRIT OVER THE EARTH.
LET THE HOLY SPIRIT LIVE
IN THE HEARTS OF ALL NATIONS,
THAT THEY MAY BE PRESERVED
FROM DEGENERATION, DISASTER AND WAR.
MAY THE LADY OF ALL NATIONS,
WHO ONCE WAS MARY,
BE OUR ADVOCATE.
AMEN.
